"In our writing today, we have been using an up-levelling sheet to assess our own writing, giving our work a score. We have been looking at our sentences and thinking about how can improve them.
Here are just a few of the super sentences that have appeared in our books today.
"When, I went to the fabulous, amazing, theme park it was fabulous. However, it was lunchtime so we went to a burger place it was scrumptious in fact it was so nice it watered in my mouth. Whereas, I didn’t think the chips were nice" (Roan)
"Behind the candy shops gates, It smelt lovely. I could feel my tongue melting and different smells of amazing candy at the Candy Shop. My Mum told me "I shouldn't have any candy" therefore I didn't take any sweets. Instead of getting sweets I just watched. Anyway, I saw that peoples favourite sweets were lollies moreover bom boms" (Hannah)
"Deep inside the park, the romantic heart-shaped maze was beatiful and creative however, even though it was a hard decision, I didn't try to get through" (Tamzin)
"The amazing burger watered in my mouth however my brother did not like it! Would you like it? (Kieran)
"In front of the Scary Cyclops ride, the brillaint, fast, amazing rollercoaster clattered and clunked over my head. Therefore, I decided to ride it!" (Alicia)
"Another thing, when the mouth watering, lovely, warm chips passed by me I asked my Mam "Could we get some of them chips?" My Mam answered "yes however only if you eat them all!" When I got them, they were delicious. (Drew)
"In front of the dragon house, the unusually, huge, scary, fantastic rollercoaster roared like an alpah lion!" (Brett)
Here are just a few of the super sentences that have appeared in our books today.
"When, I went to the fabulous, amazing, theme park it was fabulous. However, it was lunchtime so we went to a burger place it was scrumptious in fact it was so nice it watered in my mouth. Whereas, I didn’t think the chips were nice" (Roan)
"Behind the candy shops gates, It smelt lovely. I could feel my tongue melting and different smells of amazing candy at the Candy Shop. My Mum told me "I shouldn't have any candy" therefore I didn't take any sweets. Instead of getting sweets I just watched. Anyway, I saw that peoples favourite sweets were lollies moreover bom boms" (Hannah)
"Deep inside the park, the romantic heart-shaped maze was beatiful and creative however, even though it was a hard decision, I didn't try to get through" (Tamzin)
"The amazing burger watered in my mouth however my brother did not like it! Would you like it? (Kieran)
"In front of the Scary Cyclops ride, the brillaint, fast, amazing rollercoaster clattered and clunked over my head. Therefore, I decided to ride it!" (Alicia)
"Another thing, when the mouth watering, lovely, warm chips passed by me I asked my Mam "Could we get some of them chips?" My Mam answered "yes however only if you eat them all!" When I got them, they were delicious. (Drew)
"In front of the dragon house, the unusually, huge, scary, fantastic rollercoaster roared like an alpah lion!" (Brett)
Our sentence score sheet:
(adapted from the fantastic ideas at http://mrparkinsonict.blogspot.co.uk/)
(adapted from the fantastic ideas at http://mrparkinsonict.blogspot.co.uk/)
RSS Feed